The cycle of cosθ starts every morning; morning defined by the time I wake up. When I wake up, I don't get up instantly. I keep my eyes closed and make resolutions; resolutions like from today I will do something new in the office, i will start something good that would shine on my resume, i will be more confident, i will start speaking fluent English, i will not reject any call, I will work like a professional, I will eat good, and so on.
Then, I get ready for the office and because I wake up late, I don't spend much time in getting ready - 15-20 minutes at max - leaving no time for contemplations. And more often than not I get irritated while getting ready; the reasons of the irritation generally are trivial like I discover that clothes aren't ironed, my wallet or i-card are nowhere to be seen, or the cab reaches on time.Cosθ starts going down.
I reach office and I am received by fresh faces, laughter on those faces, various colors adorning those faces and smile of old friends. These are the moments when I think about my resolutions and feel more enthusiastic and stronger to fulfill them. A little deviation from cosθ.
With opening of my computer, however, the good thoughts get burdened by the load of work. At first the enthusiasm and energy keeps the load at bay making the work a platform to grow upon. But it lasts for a few minutes only and the thoughts, the enthusiasm and the energy get under the work. It goes like this till lunch. Cosθ strikes back.
After lunch the matters get worse when 'management' starts taking updates and giving suggestions. Worst happens when meetings are convened to discuss future plans. How naive they sound; no how ignorant they seem when they speak - just imagine a cup that thinks it is filled but actually is empty. If I were not used to afternoon siesta, it would again have been a deviation from Cosθ; this time a straight line going to negative infinity.
Things go like this during 'normal' office hours. Forget about resolutions, the confidence takes a deep plunge, I can't find words to complete even the simplest sentences, I reply rudely to team members, and breaks become more frequent. 'Normal' office hours end with most of the disciplined and professional people gone in cabs. With the cabs gone, my professionalism goes for a toss and Hindi adjectives for work and 'management' become fixtures of every sentence. About food,during these hours it could easily define 'junk food'. Cosθ nears its bottom.
With Cosθ approaching its bottom, a moment comes when it couldn't go any worse and the only direction it can go is upwards.
Cosθ starts going upwards minutes before I leave the office. I start planning about things to do when I reach my house; things that could be done in remaining time of the day.
Generally by the time I reach my house, I get so tired that the planned things just couldn't be done. But I remain in high spirits - inspired to change my life and the world around me. With these high spirits, I go to bed and the sleep takes the inspirational spirits to their peak. Cosθ continues its upward journey and just when I get up next morning, it reaches its peak.
Now don't look at the difference in number of words I spent describing downward journey and upward journey of Cosθ, the time spent by Cosθ on both these paths is nearly the same as Cosθ in its upward journey spans the sleeping time also.
This journey of life over the cycle of Cosθ is nothing but a part of a bigger picture, which will be presented in next two articles - 'Life, Cosθ and the Wall' and 'Life, Cosθ and the Circle'. Till then let me enjoy my weekend, one day of which is spent in wondering how quickly the weekdays went by and the other day is spent in worrying how I would spent next 5 weekdays.
